Horticultural Trash Talk: Interiorscape Surprises

Caring for indoor plants is extremely rewarding, but it’s not without its frustrations—like discovering they’ve been treated as trash cans. I’ve learned to laugh it off, but some days, it’s a challenge. I often wish I could confront the culprit and ask, “Do you think houseplants double as garbage bins?” You’d think I’d be used to it by now, but every time I find litter in the soil, I can’t help but silently indulge in a bit of trash talk. Maybe I’m too sensitive, taking this behavior personally when I shouldn’t.

Lately, I’ve been listening to a lot of motivational podcasts. Some self-help authors suggest I should be grateful for the opportunity to remove someone’s litter. They argue that if the plants weren’t there, the trash wouldn’t bother me, but I also wouldn’t be earning an income from them. In other words, I should shift my mindset to appreciate that these trash-laden plants financially support me and my family. But most of the time, gratitude is the last thing I feel during these moments. That said, here are just a few of the surprising items I’ve found in plants.

Trash Talk: The Coffee Plant

I understand why some people toss their trash into plant pots—who wants to be burdened with finding a garbage bin when there’s convenient foliage right by the exit? Usually, it’s harmless, unless someone’s dumping a liquid like coffee with cream. But have you ever gotten a call from a client about a plant emitting a rancid smell? It can make you second-guess your care techniques when, in reality, the plant has been doubling as a sink for an office worker who didn’t feel like going to the breakroom. If only they preferred black coffee.

Trash Talk: The Miscellaneous Plant

I can sympathize when a kid throws their lollipop stick into the soil. After all, children don’t always understand the consequences of littering. But what I can’t wrap my head around is when an adult does the same thing. Over the years, I’ve found all sorts of random items in the soil, from crumpled candy wrappers to half-eaten snacks. Just recently, I discovered a discarded hospital bracelet for a sixty-year-old woman lying in the underplanting. (Hopefully, you’re reading this, Martha Jean _ _ _ _ _.) It’s surprising—and a little disheartening—to see how often plants become the catch-all for anything people don’t want to carry to the nearest trash can. These plants, meant to beautify the space, end up holding an assortment of the most unexpected items.

Trash Talk: The Contraband Plant

Worse than wrappers, lollipop sticks, or hospital wristbands is touching something dangerous. Years ago, while servicing enormous oriental vases in a downtown high-rise, I experienced this scenario. Eight-foot Ming aralias were planted deep inside vases, and because the opening was so small, I couldn’t use a moisture meter or soil probe. With the nightmare of plant replacement costs in mind, I didn’t want to guess. Instead, I had to reach down to my armpit to feel the soil.

One day, while feeling for moisture, I touched something hard. Thinking it was a fork, I pulled it out, only to find an open pocket knife. I dismissed it as a fluke, but on the next service day, I found the handle of a switchblade buried in the container. To say the least, it freaked me out, but I soon realized a new tenant had recently moved into the conference center next to the lobby—a government office with a metal detector and armed guards. My experience finally made sense—people were hiding weapons in the vases. If you ever find yourself servicing a high-security location, beware of contraband in the plants!

Trash Talk: The Cash Plant

High-traffic public areas like shopping malls are prime spots for finding discarded personal items in plants. You’re bound to discover anything from panties and baby socks to soda cans, half-eaten pretzels, chewing gum, tobacco spit, and even the occasional condom. I never knew what I’d pull out next when servicing a mall, but I always wore latex gloves and used a water meter to probe around. After the holidays, I once found a Visa gift card under a thick row of aglaonema leaves. Annoyed that this person was too lazy to use the trash bin right next to the plant, I almost destroyed the card, but for some reason, I hesitated. What if the gift card was still good? I decided to check the balance, and, to my surprise, the card had $50 on it. I guess not all plant trash is bad after all!

Caring for plants isn’t always glamorous, but it can definitely be full of surprises. While unexpected discoveries are frustrating, they also add a bit of excitement to the job. These experiences have taught me valuable lessons over the years—most importantly, to stay safe by wearing gloves, using a soil probe (if possible) to check for hidden objects, and always being cautious of what you might encounter. So, the next time you find yourself digging through soil, remember that you never know what you might find. Just try your best to keep a sense of humor about it all.